Helping the Ladies

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Let Me Help You Get Sexier

Pointer for the Ladies

It is important that you do not dismiss your man’s primal urges and that you occasionally give into them.  Try surprising him by offering a quickie at an unexpected time.  Or be the aggressor, so he doesn’t feel like he is always the one initiating sex.

Fantasies Are Fun

You can also try tapping into some of his cock teasing fantasies. Men are pretty easy to please.  A simple thing like a cheerleader outfit or a naughty nurse uniform can really spice things up.  And that goes for the gentlemen too.   The ladies may not have the same fantasies that you do, but they do have them and they can be pretty damn hot.   Again, you just to have to open yourself up to something new.  That also goes for including kink or fetish in your sex life.  Expanding boundaries is always a healthy thing in a relationship.

No Labels Needed

Ultimately, it all comes down to that different wiring that men  and women have.  A good relationship requires compromise.   As a rule, women are better in that department. When guys come to me for sex advice, I tell them to keep it simple.  Women aren’t nearly as complicated as some men think.  Often there is just a duality at play.

They want to be romanced, to feel special and appreciated, in addition to unleashing their inner whore.  Men have to avoid getting caught up in the Madonna/Whore or Mother/Lover trap.   Let them be both.  That is not only good for your sex life, but it is good for your relationship.

Take it All

Everyone wants to be loved and accepted for who he or she really is.  That is part of the challenge of building an enduring relationship.  In those early, magical days, we tend to focus only on what we like about our partners.  As time goes on, though, we become acutely aware of what we don’t like.  At that point we stop seeing those foibles as merely cute or endearing.   But those faults are part of what makes them who they are.  So try to embrace the fullness of your partner, with all of their complications and contradictions.

Accepting the whole of the person is helpful in the bedroom in that it allows us to get past the compartmentalization that can lead to that Madonna/Whore trap.  Or, in the case of women, seeing their men as either as a he-man/protector/provider or some weak good-for-nothing.  There is a lot in between those extremes; usually a human being who’s much more interesting than the fantasy you may have created.  It comes back to my earlier statement about the importance of being yourself and being accepted.  Yes, we are who we are, but there should be room for growth and compromise within that construct.  It’s a cop out to say, “Hey, that’s just the way I am.”  That may be valid in some instances, but as a consistent default position it’s going to make you a very lonely person.

Pause for the Cause

So, the next time you are frustrated by the lack of sex or romance in your relationship, just take a moment to think.  Try to understand your partner’s perspective and needs.  For the ladies, accept your man for who he is.  Sometimes your expectations are impossibly high.

For guys, stop being so selfish.  A little romance goes a long way, as does a thoughtful gesture.  Take out the trash or empty the dishwasher and you’ll be amazed at what comes your way.

About You

If you’d like to discuss your own situation, I am here to help.  Having been a behavioral health professional, I have counseled many couples through stalemates, mismatched expectations, and bottled up needs.  I am well-acquainted with the types of issues you face and can offer a wide array of services: friend, counselor, sex advisor, or director/participant in your fantasy role play phone sex.  Couples phone sex provides a unique outlet to enliven your sex life.  Whatever the case, be it serious or sexy, I can help. Give me a call for some sensual Mistress phone sex for couples.   I will definitely help bring a new spark of life to your joint love life!

Have questions for me?  Leave them here in a comment.  I answer all comments and will be happy to address your concerns.

 

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